What is the best way to ...

...write a speech?
...practice a speech?
...use notes?
...get the audience's attention?

I get these kinds of questions on a regular basis. It reminds me of all the crazy diets people go on in order to lose weight fast and with no effort. What's the "best" way to lose ten pounds in a week?

No one can tell you what's best for you. There are a lot of methods, techniques and strategies out there, used by speakers from the beginning of time. I've given many suggestions on this blog, and I'm sure I've suggested the best way to do something plenty of times.

But you have to figure out for yourself, through trial and error, what's truly best for you and your audiences.

Copying what others have done, without any analysis or evaluation, may not get you the results you're looking for. Assuming that one way is "best" without trying another way is limiting, and doesn't allow you to fully develop your own style as a speaker. Just because Zig Ziglar or Tony Robbins uses certain techniques, it doesn't mean those techniques will work for you.

So take the suggestions from the experts and try them to see what works best for you, your personality, your presentation style, and your particular audiences. Don't take my word for it that one method is best. Do your own evaluation and find out for yourself.

Conversation vs. confrontation

I received a private message yesterday from a Twitter connection, disagreeing with a point of view I had expressed in one of my "tweets."

But instead of starting a dialogue that could have led to some interesting discussion, the person decided to be confrontational and insulting. I responded diplomatically, wondering if I could get her/him into an actual discussion. But no, the response again came back condescending and rude.

What's my point with this story? If you get in people's faces, they're less likely to hear your message.

Sometimes the topics we speak on are controversial or difficult to talk about. And sometimes our audiences don't "get it" or seem apathetic. Our own passion can quickly turn to anger and aggression if we feel strongly about something but don't feel that we're being heard. We start to take it personally when people don't agree or find fault with our arguments.

So do we confront people or do we have a conversation and try to learn more about where they're coming from?

Having spent six years educating youth and adults about domestic violence, a cause I'm very passionate about, I can tell you that there were times when I almost felt violent myself! Someone would say, "Well she must have done something to deserve it," or "She must like the abuse or she would leave," and I would feel my temperature rising and my heart beating faster.

Sometimes I would feel like telling someone what a stupid idiot they were (just being honest!).

But of course, that's not the case. Just because someone doesn't have the same understanding of an issue that you have, or just because they disagree on some points, it certainly doesn't make them stupid or ignorant, and they are not out to get you. They are not in the same place you are, and it's your job as a speaker/educator/trainer to help them see your point in an open and understanding way.

And you have to realize that they may never come around to your point of view, but having an open and honest discussion where you really hear each other's arguments can at least create understanding and appreciation of the other person's perspective.

I learned through that experience, and later experiences teaching healthy sexuality classes to middle school students and speaking on gender equity for my nonprofit, that you can't truly make a difference in people's lives unless you listen to them, bite your tongue, and make an effort to understand where they're coming from.

That being said, a little confrontation can be okay, in the sense that you might have to share stories and facts that are shocking and uncomfortable for people to hear. You might have to shake up their comfortable world a little bit for them to grasp your message.

But it's just not okay to insult your audience, yell at them, or make the issue personal between you.

What's missing? Part 2

Following up on yesterday's blog post about what's missing in the paint commercial: Thanks to my readers for jumping in with your thoughts!

I wrote about benefits vs. features quite a while ago, and I thought it was time to approach this topic again.

A typical mistake that speakers make when promoting their service or product is to forget that the audience needs to know how it benefits them. Remember "What's in it for me?" That's what the audience is thinking while you're blabbing away about all the features of your business (how fresh your paint is, for example).

When I listen to this commercial, my first thought is, "Why do I need fresh paint?" There is nothing in this commercial to convince me that fresh paint is going to be better for me than paint that's been sitting on the shelf. As yesterday's commenters all mentioned, if you don't know why you should care, you're not likely to buy.

Your potential customers are not thinking the same way you are about your business. They're not interested in hearing about your "great customer service" (anyone can say that about their own busines; doesn't make it true...) or your choice of colors or your convenient location.

They want to know how they're going to feel when they use your product. They want to know how their life is going to improve if they hire you. They want to know how your business will help them become richer, thinner and better in bed!

Make it about your audience and not about yourself. Find out what's important to them and tell them how your business meets those needs. Appeal to their emotions, their concerns, their values, their lifestyle. It's okay to talk features, because sometimes we want those specs, but benefits have to come first.

What's missing in this commercial?

There's a commercial I hear daily on local radio that fails to convince me to buy their product. To summarize their key points:

>> When you buy paint from other stores, it's probably been sitting on the shelf at the manufacturer, then at the distributor, then at the store for a long time. Wouldn't you prefer to buy fresh paint?

We use a special technology that allows us to make your paint as you order it so you can have fresh paint every time.

We're a paint store, not a paint department.<<

Right now, as this ad stands, I would not be inclined to buy the product. Something critical is missing here that is absolutely necessary when promoting your business.

What do you think is missing? Please leave your thoughts in the comments and I'll be back tomorrow to follow up!

Navigating controversy

Kudos to the young woman in this article who stood by her beliefs and went forward with a difficult topic in a regional speech competition.

Having spent several years of my career presenting on controversial subjects, I understand how stressful it is, knowing before you begin that some members of your audience will automatically shut down when they hear the topic, and that some audience members will become upset or disturbed by your content.

Confidence, conviction and preparation are key, and I also found that, even in the toughest conversations, gentle humor and some well-placed lightheartedness can act as a spoonful of sugar to help the message go down.

In Hannah's case, there was no opportunity for audience interaction, but in a typical presentation setting when speaking on a difficult topic, you must always be prepared for hecklers and for challenging or hostile questions.

When you do have the opportunity for interaction, asking questions and inviting audience participation will build trust and let them know that you value what they have to say and share.

Most important, never judge your audience for not "getting it." It's your responsibility as a speaker to bring them to the point where they do get it, but understand that many audience members will have had their own experience of the topic that a one-hour or less presentation may not impact. Keep your perspective and don't take it personally if you just can't connect with some people.

For more in depth information on presenting on controversial issues, see my article, "Tough Topics, Tough Audiences."

Being wrong

In my recent guest post on Chris Spagnuolo's Edgehopper blog, I talked about some of the things that inspire my blog posts and presentation activities. One comment I received on Facebook in response to the question "What inspires you?" was "Being wrong."

I loved this answer, because so many of us are deathly afraid of making mistakes. Especially mistakes in our professional lives, which might somehow tarnish our stellar reputation as an expert. We're so concerned with being judged, or criticized or being exposed as an impostor, that we avoid taking risks, avoid stepping out of our comfort zone, and we end up playing it too safe.

Making a mistake can be uncomfortable and embarrassing. It can also be a valuable learning experience. When we make a mistake or discover we're wrong in some way, we figure out how to do things better the next time. If you never make mistakes (and who never makes a mistake?), or don't know you're making mistakes, you don't grow.

Most of us hate being wrong. But if you take heed of my friend's comment, that being wrong inspires her, you might consider how being wrong can sometimes be a good thing. Inspiration comes when you least expect it. Why not take a situation that feels bad, and turn it into something good by learning and growing from it?

101 Women Bloggers to Watch for in 2009

It's already nearing the end of March and I've neglected to mention that I was selected by WE Magazine for Women as one of the 101 Women Bloggers to Watch For in 2009! I'm honored!

Here are a few blogs on the list I enjoyed checking out:

Bari J. for crafty goodness

The Get Smart Blog for business resources

Ries' Pieces on branding

Mingle about networking

Images are not fluff

I've heard this several times from clients who've come to me for help with their slide shows: "My boss/conference organizer/client wants me to take all the images out of the PowerPoint. He says they're 'fluff.'"

This comment always irritates me, but what else should I expect? Long ago, in a land far, far away, someone decided that a presentation could not be taken seriously unless it was accompanied by a PowerPoint chock full of text, bullet points, charts, data and citations. Someone decided that we can't call it "work" unless we wish we were somewhere else.

Because images, colors and visual stimulation are okay for little kids, but once we're grown up, there is too much danger of enjoyment breaking out if we don't follow the rules of serious presentations. And we all know a presentation is no good if we're enjoying ourselves too much.

So let me post again some resources on making your PowerPoint more effective with more images and less text:

New research about PowerPoint titles

Why you can't read slides and listen to a speaker at the same time

Is the font on your PowerPoint big enough?

Jennifer Kammeyer's Comm Comm blog on PowerPoint research

Laura Bergell's post "Slides are not handouts"

Cliff Atkinson's book, Beyond Bullet Points

Garr Reynolds' book, Presentation Zen

And let me remind you that the best way to help your audience retain information is to serve as many learning styles as you can. The more you can do to reach your audience members in the ways they learn best, the more likely they are to remember your message.

Here are some resources on learning styles:

Learning Styles and Preferences

Learning Styles Explained

Learning Styles and Strategies

And for fun, here's a post from Chris Spagnuolo's Edgehopper blog about librarians reading to children at story time, and what you can learn from them.

The way we learn as children is still valid once we're adults. Don't fool yourself into thinking that the more statistic- and text-laden your PowerPoint is, the more effective it will be. Sure, you'll be taken seriously, but your audience will be bored out of their minds. And they'll remember very little.

Others may call it "fluff," but images and other kinds of visual, auditory, verbal and physical stimulation will keep your audience focused on you and your message, not using your presentation for every child's all-time favorite part of school: nap time.

What inspires you?

Today you'll find my guest post over at Chris Spagnuolo's Edgehopper blog. I decided to share a little about how I get my inspiration for blog posts and presentation ideas. If you ever experience mental blocks when creating, you might find my post helpful!

Pros and cons of making presentations more fun

When I suggest making your presentations more fun, what comes to mind? For example:

Pros:

The audience will be engaged and pay more attention.

The presentation will be memorable and stick in the audience's minds.

Cons:

I feel silly using toys, activities or music in my presentation.

My boss would never go for something he considers "fluff."

I'd love to hear your thoughts on whether or not you would consider making your presentations more fun, and why or why not? What are the pros and cons that come to mind?

Please comment!

What's your story?

Last week's challenge to the men on "From Gs to Gents" was to present skits on drug abuse and gang violence to inner-city middle school students as part of their lesson on giving back to the community.

Both skits are entertaining, the first one receiving more laughs than the second, but where the true success of the exercise comes out is during Q&A.

The first group handles questions awkwardly, realizing that the students have not fully grasped the message of the skit. To make things worse, one group member tells the kids that, if they do drugs, he'll come after them.

During the second group's question period, a student asks if anyone in the group has ever been in a gang. Blue, the leader of the group and former gang member (who had attended this same middle school), takes the question.

He tells a story about sitting at the bus stop with his mother and sister, when a car pulls up and the gang member inside points a gun out the window. Blue's mother steps in front of the gun and starts praying out loud, and in that moment, Blue realizes the danger to his family from his gang involvement, and starts on his path to change.

Blue begins to cry as he tells the story, and his tears clearly move the students. They give a standing ovation.

When it comes time for the students to vote on which skit was better, the students choose Blue's group. Maybe because the skit was actually better, but more likely because the students connect with Blue's story, witness his pain, and empathize with him and his situation. His personal story enhances the skit's message about the dangers of gang involvement.

Audiences resonate with stories, but your own personal stories are the best way to make a human connection. As fellow coach Joey Asher mentions in this post, in reference to research about what makes people fall in love, "The more you reveal about yourself during a presentation, the more the audience will like you."

Make sure your stories are appropriate to the group, don't go on forever, and do indeed tie in with your main point. You don't want to overwhelm them with emotion or embarrass them with too much personal detail. But you do want to share honestly the aspects of your life that make sense with your topic in this place and time with this audience.

What stories do you tell to connect with your audience?

Tic talk

Do you have tics? No, I'm not talking about the bug that bites you and sucks your blood. I'm talking about those unconsciously repeated verbal and physical behavior traits that come out when you're speaking and distract your audience.

Technically speaking, a tic is an involuntary repeated and habitual movement or sound, but in this case, I'm not talking about a medical disorder. I'm talking about a habit that has developed as a self-soothing mannerism to combat nervousness or to fill time.

I recently heard a speaker who cleared his throat in place of pauses. I know a woman who coughs during silences. I know a man who jerks his chin back when he's making a point. Some people wink, blink, or smack their lips, or repeat words or phrases like "Right?" or "Of course" without realizing it. (See this post for more on crutch phrases.)

How do you find out if you're doing something like this? I guarantee that an audience member is not going to point out your tics to you. A close friend or colleague who watches you practice might not even say anything. Yet these little verbal and physical eccentricities can be very distracting to your audience, so it's a good idea to find out if you have one, and then reduce or eliminate it.

How do you stop repeating unconscious behaviors?

1. You must become aware of them. Asking for honest feedback might get you this information, but videotaping is a sure thing. Audio recording will help you discovers sounds you're making, but video will catch everything.

2. You must be mentally and physically present during your presentations and actually listen to yourself speaking.

3. When you feel the tic coming on, breathe and pause. Acknowledge the urge and allow it to pass. Then continue on with what you were saying. This will be difficult at first, but you will find it easier as you go along.

Tics are annoying little habits, but they can be controlled. Your audience will appreciate your effort.

Public speaking interview #2 on BlogTalkRadio

Once again, I was asked to talk about public speaking on BlogTalkRadio, this time with Brian Adrian. We had a great conversation yesterday and covered lots of ground in this hour-long show. Listen here:



If the player isn't working for you, click here to go to the site.

Add fun to your presentation with toys

In this post, I talked about why I like to give toys to my workshop participants to play with.

Today, I'm going to talk about how I use toys and props myself to make workshops more fun and engaging.

Example: Since I frequently have my groups do timed activities like mini-presentations or speed networking, I need to be able to let them know when time is up, or call them back when finished. Here are some toys I use to accomplish this:

1. Cow moo toy. Flip the can over and it makes a mooing sound. A little surprising at first.

2. Tiny maracas. Shake shake shake! Gets their attention every time!

3. Stuffed toy American Goldfinch. This birdy makes an authentic American Goldfinch bird call to get the audience back on track.

When I bought these two-foot-long hand pointers (thanks to Andrew Dlugan for first *pointing* them out), I wasn't even sure what I would do with them.

The first time I took one to a training, the group was sitting around a large table and people couldn't reach some of the materials in the middle. So it was fun to pull out my hand pointer and use it to push papers to the people who couldn't reach them.

I also have a giant pen that I keep tucked away until someone needs to borrow a pen, or until I pass around my newsletter signup sheet.

What's the point of the toys and props? Fun! Just because we're talking about serious or important matters doesn't mean we can't enjoy ourselves a little... or a lot. Laughter is the best way to warm up an audience.

Toys that make sounds, are extra large or extra tiny, or are colorful and playful in some way, will all work to wake up and engage your audience. And remember: keep your prop hidden until you're ready to use it. It's much funnier when the audience is surprised.

You don't have to go crazy with tons of toys. Just bring one or two and see how it goes. Be subtle or be silly. Try it!

From Hobby to Business: Three Tips for Making the Transition

This is a little off topic from my usual blog post, but as a lifelong jewelry artist who used to run a jewelry business, this is a topic that is close to my heart. I think it applies to many entrepreneurs, not just the creative ones.

David Billings, illustrator and owner of Sparky Firepants, asked me to submit a guest post to his blog on the topic of creative businesses. I'm honored to be a guest on Inside the Pants: The Business End of the Artist! Take a peek!

Knock down all the roadblocks a-stumbling me

There's a Beach Boys song I want to share with you today, from their album, "Surf's Up," called "Long Promised Road." I love the concept of knocking down roadblocks and throwing off shackles.

Many of us are blocked and shackled by our own fears and anxieties. We can let these shackles bind us, or we can decide to take control and learn how to manage the fears and throw off the shackles. It's not easy, it can be painful, and you might need help to accomplish it, but it's so worth it in the end to feel the satisfaction of overcoming a roadblock and being free from fear.

Here are a couple of stanzas:

So hard to answer future's riddle
When ahead is seeming so far behind
So hard to laugh a child-like giggle
When the tears start to torture my mind
So hard to shed the life of before
To let my soul automatically soar

But I hit hard at the battle that's confronting me, yeah
Knock down all the roadblocks a-stumbling me
Throw off all the shackles that are binding me down ...

... So hard to lift the jeweled sceptre
When the weight turns a smile to a frown
So hard to drink of passion nectar
When the taste of life's holding me down
So hard to plant the seed of reform
To set my sights on defeating the storm

So I hit hard at the battle that's confronting me, yeah
Knock down all the roadblocks a-stumbling me
Throw off all the shackles that are binding me down

Listen to the whole album here, or just scroll down to "Long Promised Road."

Thought Trap #9: "Should" statements

Thought Trap #9: "Should" statements

Continuing on in the series on Thought Traps.

You try to motivate yourself or others with should and shouldn't, must and ought. You have a list of ironclad rules about how you and other people should act. You feel guilty if you break the rules and angry if others do.

Talk about pressure. The worst pressure usually comes from ourselves. Our expectations of ourselves are usually 100 times higher than anyone else's expectations.

When you put so much pressure on yourself, you're bound to fail occasionally. When you put so much pressure on yourself, you're going to let yourself down. Not to mention the disappointment you feel when others let you down by not living up to your expectations (when, of course, you can't control another person anyway).

Not every "should" is bad, of course. If your "should" resonates with who you are as a person and with your true dreams, desires, passions, interests and values, then by all means retain it. The problem is figuring out which "shoulds" fit and which ones don't.

I can tell you from my own experience that it's hard to fight some of those "shoulds." My big "should" is that I should be writing a book. After all, every other speaker/coach writes a book, or several books. If I don't have a book, I must not be as successful as everyone else. Right?

The problem with this "should" and others like it is that it may have nothing to do with what you really want for yourself. If you act in a way that follows arbitrary rules but doesn't make you happy or fulfilled, then why are you doing it? Striving to reach some unattainable level of perfection only leaves you feeling guilty and disappointed in yourself.

Ask yourself these questions when you're fighting the "shoulds:"

1. Who am I trying to please?

2. Who am I trying to impress?

3. Whose expectations am I trying to live up to?

4. Is this what I really want?

5. Is this who I really am?

6. What would happen if I dropped this "should" from my life?

What's your big "should?"

Here again, are some additional suggestions on how to approach these negative thoughts once you become aware of them (from a Mother Jones article about cognitive therapy and thought traps):

1. Write it down. Writing automatically provides perspective and helps reveal distorted thinking.

2. Identify the distressing event. What's really bothering you?

3. Identify your negative emotions.

4. Identify the negative thoughts tied to your emotions.

5. Identify distortions and substitute the truth.

And my addition:

6. Take action. What will you do differently next time?

Trustworthiness is judged in less than a second

In this fascinating article from the BPS Research Digest, a study is described where university students were asked to rate several character traits of a person after seeing their photo for just 100 milliseconds.

"The ratings they gave the faces correlated strongly with ratings given by other students who were allowed as long as they wanted to rate the faces. The strongest correlation was for trustworthiness. 'Maybe as soon as a face is there, you know whether to trust it,' the researchers surmised."

"These findings suggest that minimal exposure to faces is sufficient for people to form trait impressions, and that additional exposure time can simply boost confidence in these impressions. That is, additional encounters with a person may only serve to justify quick, initial, on-line judgments," the researchers said.

What does this mean for you as a speaker? Just that the minute you walk into the room, your audience members are already forming judgments about you. It's important to remember that, from the moment you get out of your car or walk out of your hotel room, you are "on."

I can't tell you how to look more trustworthy. If you're not a trustworthy person, I guess the audience will determine that right away. But I can tell you to be aware that judgments are formed in an instant and that the more professional, approachable, positive and easy to work with you are, the better impression you're going to make on organizers and audiences.

Magic flip chart

I was given the opportunity recently to test out a new product called Papershow by Canson, a new way to digitize meeting notes that would normally be written on a flip chart or white board.

First, I just have to say that this thing seems like magic! Whatever you draw on the interactive notepad shows up on the screen. The "magic" is actually a digital pen with an infrared camera that detects tiny dots and icons on the paper. As you draw, the camera records the pen tip's position and sends it to the Bluetooth USB key plugged into the computer. And voila! What you write or draw appears on the screen.

You can change colors, draw circles, boxes, arrows and lines, you can erase mistakes, draw a sticky note, and basically do everything you would do on a flip chart, but in a way that your audience can actually see everything on the screen instead of having to crane their necks or squint their eyes to make out what you've written on the flip chart. If you're sitting around a table, you don't even have to get up! You can also change the background color from white to black, for example, if you'd like a blackboard effect.

You can pass around the pad and pen and let your audience or colleagues add their notes. You can send your notes to the group by e-mail. There's even a special pad you can use to make notes on your PowerPoint slides as the audience is viewing them, but I haven't tried that feature yet.

It was easy to install on my computer, and once the USB key and pen are paired, starting up the program and beginning to write is very quick.

I took it with me to a workshop last week to test it out in a live audience setting with the computer provided by the venue. Pairing the key and the pen took longer than it took on my computer, but that's why we show up early to set up, right?

Also, the USB key is "chubby" and if you only have two USB ports side by side or on top of each other, and you need one for your presentation remote, the Papershow key won't fit next to another USB drive. I picked up an inexpensive portable hub that solved this problem. Again, another reason to visit your venue and test your technology in advance so you can prepare for possible snags.

The main problem I had with the product was that the pen and key are not meant to be further than 20 feet apart. I was presenting in a conference room that was 30 or 40 feet long, and the computer was in a closet at the back of the room, while I was in front where the screen was located.

Because the Bluetooth connection was stretched, the writing was delayed, and if I wrote too fast, there would be blank spaces and gaps in words where the writing wasn't picked up at all. Slowing down helped resolve the issue, but I can see how this could be a problem in larger auditoriums where the computer may be 50 to 100 feet away from the presenter.

All in all, I loved using this product. I can see so much potential for it, and I've just scratched the surface of all it can do. It's more portable than a flip chart and more versatile. It can even add another dimension to group interaction. If they were to increase the workable distance between the pen and the key, it would be almost perfect. Visit their shopping page for info on where to buy it.

Workshop video

Thought I'd show some video I shot at my last workshop with my Flip Mino. I've wanted to incorporate more video and photos of my audiences, and this is an easy way to do it. I also like the idea of using disposable cameras and letting the audience take their own pictures of each other and activities throughout the day. Next time!

In this video, they are doing the "Curse of Knowledge" exercise described in the book "Made to Stick," and then practicing three-minute presentations at the end of the day.