Are you mispronounciating your words?

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A client told me recently that she sometimes has trouble pronouncing words properly because she was raised by parents from another country and still has a bit of their accent at times. I suggested that she's not pronouncing words incorrectly if that's how they're pronounced in another English-speaking country. But she's self-conscious about it, so I decided to devote today's blog post to pronunciation.

How do you know if you're pronouncing words properly? You probably don't, because most of us have ways of speaking that we've developed over a lifetime of influence from parents, friends, our culture, and our state or region. The way we say things is the way we say things, and no one is going to tell us when we're wrong.

However, there are some words that are frequently mispronounced by native English speakers that have nothing to do with region or accent. One of the very first blog posts I wrote three years ago was about the mispronunciation of the word "a." There is one pronunciation for the word "a" and a different pronunciation for the letter "a."

Here are some other words that are frequently mispronounced/misunderstood. How many of these do you say?

No: Antartic | Yes: Antarctic

No: card shark | Yes: cardsharp

No: chomp at the bit | Yes: champ at the bit

No: excape | Yes: escape

No: expresso | Yes: espresso

No: forte (fortay) | Yes: fort (I only discovered this about a year ago!)

No: heighth | Yes: height

No: mannaise | Yes: mayonnaise

No: nuptual | Yes: nuptial

No: perculate | Yes: percolate

No: sherbert | Yes: sherbet

No: supposably | Yes: supposedly

No: triathalon | Yes: triathlon

For more fun with mispronounced words, check out this list. You will be shocked to see some of these; I guarantee it. You can click on the link for each correct word and hear the proper pronunciation.

If you're not sure about a word, look it up. Study lists like the one above to make sure you know what you're talking about. Pronunciation plays a big role in a presentation; don't let yours be a distraction to the audience. Maintain your credibility and authority as a speaker and an expert by using and pronouncing words properly.

It's just emotion

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I met with a client yesterday whose goal is to be really good at engaging the audience: making sure that they're enjoying themselves and making it worth their while to attend her presentation. Wow. That's not a goal I hear every day, believe it or not.

The main reason I believe she'll achieve her goals is that she has emotion on her side. She is passionate about her topic and thrilled to talk about it. She doesn't have to fake it or dig deep to find the excitement; it's right there on the surface.

The more we talked, the more ideas she came up with for engaging the audience, for finding new groups to speak to, and for bringing props and visuals to improve the presentation. To put it simply, she's fired up.

On the one hand, she lacks confidence. She's worried about what people think of her. She loses her train of thought and dwells on what movements she's making with her hands. She lacks experience.

On the other hand, her emotion can easily be felt by anyone who listens to her animated discussion about her topic, and I guarantee that the audience won't notice her nervousness or her hand gestures, because they'll be making an emotional connection with her.

In a way, she's lucky. Her topic combines history, art, culture and local historic places. The visuals associated with her presentation are stunning. It's not hard to imagine an audience falling for it. Whereas, you might be presenting on insurance fraud or VOIP technology and finding it a little more difficult to dig up some emotion to draw in your audience.

Why do you need emotion? Because facts aren't enough. If you want to persuade people, if you want them to do something as a result of your presentation, you will have to appeal to their emotions as well.

So here are some ideas to help you.

1. What's funny about your topic?

What makes you and your colleagues laugh when you're talking about your work? What funny stories do you take home to your spouse at the end of the day? If your audience can relate, use it in your presentation.

2. What's frustrating about your topic?

What drives you, your colleagues, or your clients crazy? Those long, complicated forms? Piles of cables and cords in your clients' homes? Bad customer service, clueless drivers, late fees on invoices? Whatever it is, tell the story. Make your audience feel that frustration!

3. What's inspiring about your topic?

Who have you helped? How have they succeeded? How much money have you raised for charity? How many foreign exchange students have you educated? Find the inspiration in what you do, who you help, how you change the world, and share that with your audience.

Keep going and ask yourself: What makes people angry about my topic? What makes people sad about my topic? What makes people scared about my topic?

No matter what your topic is, there are ways to appeal to your audience's emotions. And emotion is what will keep them engaged and will move them to take action.

Other posts on emotion:

There is no such thing as a dry topic

Don't forget the emotional appeal

Act your age

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On a recent episode of "Little People, Big World," high school senior Zachary is struggling in his speech class. One problem right off the bat is his mumbling and lack of enunciation. There are some episodes of the show where they put subtitles to Zach's words because he's so hard to understand. Here's what I think he said:

"I don't particularly care for public speaking, because [it's a lot of nuisance?] and you have to be like all formal and specific. Speech class is one of the classes I do to get it over with."

This is a typical attitude about public speaking, unfortunately, and I wonder how much effort the teacher makes to thwart this idea. The episode shows Zach getting one of the lowest grades in class for his impromptu speech. He's actually upset and complains to his family about it. Twin brother Jeremy (who's also in the class) says, "How about this? Better yet, you just actually be prepared?" Zach says, "I was prepared."

We then move on to Zach's next speech, where he has to demonstrate how to make a cake. His mom goes over it with him, making a practice cake and even asks at one point if anything needs to be written down. Zach says no. Then Zach goes and hangs out with his friends and leaves the cake in the oven, forgetting to take it out, and mom comes to the rescue.

When he demonstrates the cake in class, he clearly appears not to know what he's doing, and is completely disorganized. He gets a C and later rants, "Just because I don't have a little intro on a piece of paper, she gave me a C." Apparently the teacher had been expecting a "five-point introduction," which Zach has failed to mention or prepare for.

At the end of the segment he point out that it's just a C in speech class and "Who cares?"

Now, I get that Zach is a teenager, and that he doesn't quite understand the importance of a lot of what he's learning in school. We were all there at some point, weren't we? It doesn't help if our teachers don't demonstrate the value and benefits of learning what we're learning, teaching by the "Because I said so" method.

But here's what I don't get: Why do so many adults who are in the real world, trying to succeed in their jobs and in business do the same thing?

We can make a lot of excuses for Zach, although I hope he, at some point, takes seriously the need to express himself better.

But what excuses are you making?

You know that taking more time to prepare your presentation will make it better.

You know that practicing will make your presentation better.

You know that being an expert on your topic will improve your chances for promotions and advancement.

You know that being an authority on your topic will bring you more respect and more business.

You know all these things, yet you approach your presentations the way a high school senior who doesn't care about school approaches his homework. Like it's a drag. Like it's pointless. Like "Who cares?"

You don't have parents breathing down your neck about getting into college. All you have is yourself, your dreams, your desires, your motivation, your consequences.

Keep making excuses, or take responsibility for your own success. You're a grownup now.

You have what it takes to be a hero

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I read this lovely blog post yesterday by Lin Stone about a Sunday school group he used to teach, and his method for encouraging the children to try public speaking.

His uncomplicated approach was wonderful to read about:

1. He suggests the students do the impossible. This creates an air of excitement and anticipation of what's to come.

2. When they balk after learning what the "impossible" is going to be -- speaking in front of the church congregation -- he simply encourages them with "You can do it."

3. He teaches them how to research and prepare their talks, but suggests they not write down or memorize their material. His goal for them is to connect with the audience.

The students are prepared, but not having written notes or memorized material gives them freedom not to "lose their place" or forget what they were going to say. They know what they want to say, and they will deliver it without crutches or dependence.

4. He gives them a simple test: If they can clench their toes or touch their thumb to forefinger before the speech, then they are ready to go forward. This means that their mind is in control, and not the fear.

5. The last thing he asks them to do is to touch the microphone briefly before they begin talking:

"When you go to the lectern I want you to reach out and touch that microphone for just a second so you will remember its purpose is to connect you with every person out there in the congregation. You have something important to say, you want it to be heard. That microphone is your best friend."

This is such a sweet, simple story. Please make sure you get over there and read it. And of course, the children all do well, even while their parents are petrified at the prospect.

If only we could go back to that time when we were children, and we were yet to develop so many insecurities about what people think of us. If only we could go back to the time when "doing the impossible" was actually possible in our minds and we were willing to take that leap of faith without needing beta blockers or a glass of wine to get us through it!

We build up so much drama about public speaking and how much we're supposed to hate and fear it. Wouldn't it be great to let that go and just DO it?

Don't panic, plan it

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In my vast experience with panic attacks, I've learned to use various tools to help me through the intensity of the situation, some of which I shared in the linked blog post.

But something that is equally important to mention is how to prepare and take care of yourself so you face fewer of these attacks in the first place. You may not even experience full-fledged panic, but you can still prepare yourself so you don't put yourself in situations that trigger anxiety. These tricks have worked for me; maybe they'll work for you!

1. Get enough sleep

When you're tired, it's easy to overload your circuits. When you're tired, it's harder for your mind and body to handle difficult situations. If you have a presentation coming up, especially, make sure you get a good night's sleep for a few nights leading up to it.

People are shocked when I tell them what time I get up in the morning (no, it's not 5:30 a.m.), but this is what works for me and what makes me feel the most rested. You know when you're not getting enough sleep and, in fact, you may be chronically sleep-deprived. Not a good habit to get into, either for speaking or for your life in general.

2. Eat healthy food and stay hydrated

Your body needs fuel for energy. How do you expect to get up in front of a large group and give your all for an hour or more when all you've had to eat was a cup of tea and a piece of toast?

Make sure that you are well hydrated and have eaten enough actual nutrients (only you can know what works for you, but let me just say that junk food doesn't have much in the way of nutrients), so your brain doesn't stop working and you don't pass out at the end of your talk.

3. Avoid aggravating triggers

I don't mean panic triggers here. What I mean is, avoid the things that you know will upset or aggravate your system in some way. It might be some food that doesn't agree with you, or cigarette smoke that aggravates your asthma or allergies. For me, it's caffeine, particularly coffee.

When I'm at a conference, I tend to drink coffee because that's what's available, preferably decaf. But I have to be really careful not to drink coffee before a presentation because 1) it makes me incredibly hyper - more so than I already am, 2) the acidity upsets my stomach, and 3) I would have to run out of the room three times to use the restroom. If I were anxious about speaking, drinking coffee would exacerbate my anxiety tenfold.

4. Know what you're getting into

In this post, I wrote about preparing for the things that you fear, like losing your place or the audience noticing your nervousness. And it's always good to know how you would handle these kinds of situations.

However, it's also important to take your own physical and mental health and comfort into account during your presentation.

For example (speaking of food again...) if I know I'm going to be in a training for several hours, I bring snacks to eat in the breaks. If I don't, I will become hungry, then weak, then lightheaded. I know myself.

If you have a hard time speaking for long periods of time, break up the presentation so your audience does some of the work for you in small groups. If your feet hurt when you wear heels, don't wear heels, or invest the time and money in comfortable ones. If you're always hot or cold, check the room in advance to make sure you're dressed appropriately for the temperature.

There's so much to think about when preparing for your presentation, but your mental and physical health and comfort are just as important as the presentation itself. Take care of yourself and the rest will come much easier.

How do you care for yourself before presentations? Share in the comments!

Only connect! 9 ways to do it

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"Only connect! That was the whole of her sermon. Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer. Only connect, and the beast and the monk, robbed of the isolation that is life to either, will die." ~ Howard's End

I love this statement: Only connect. It is the crux of human relationships, of course. And it is the crux of the speaker/audience relationship. You can have good material, perfect organization and skilled delivery, but if you don't connect with the audience, something critical is missing.

I also find that connecting "the prose and the passion" to be critical for a speaker, both internally and externally.

Connecting the prose and the passion internally means we are whole and complete; we are not ruled by either logic or emotion, but give both their equal time and weight. We don't value one over the other but embrace the practicality and benefits of both.

Externally, this translates to a speaker who is able to use facts and words as skillfully as emotion and expressiveness in engaging and impacting the audience. As Garr Reynolds says in his book "Presentation Zen." "A presentation is never just about facts."

How does one connect with an audience?

1. Find out who's in the audience so you can get to know them in advance and provide material that they care about. Come early to meet some of them.

2. Don't try to be perfect. It's not even possible, and the audience doesn't expect it.

3. Tell your own stories that illustrate your points. Your stories reveal a bit of who you are as a person, not just as a speaker.

4. Embrace your uniqueness and fall in love with the real you. When you're content with who you are, the audience can feel it.

5. Don't copy other speakers. Yes, learn from successful speakers, but don't copy their movements, their vocal cadence, their stories (yes, people do this!) or their style. You already have your own style. Develop that.

6. Add a personal touch to presentations. I use a picture of my cat in one presentation, Barbie dolls in another. I use props and images that I enjoy, that work for me, and happen to express something about who I am. Let the audience get to know you a little.

7. Be honest. If you mess up or forget your place, don't make a big deal about hiding your mistake unless it's so tiny no one will notice. If you need to go back and find your place, say so. Nobody cares.

8. Smile. Open up. Show warmth, humor and friendliness.

9. Stay after to talk to people.

Share in the comments how you connect with your audiences.

Meet my allergy doctor

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My doctor is always thinking about how to put his patients first.

When I met with him Wednesday about changing my allergy medication, he suggested one that might work better for me and told me where I could buy the generic version for the lowest price in town.

He referred me to another doctor and gave me the inside scoop on how I could get an appointment right away and not have to wait a month.

He clarified incorrect information a pharmacist had given me with clear and understandable language.

He wasn't promoting himself, his medical group, or a pharmaceutical company.

In this brief appointment, my doctor gave me more value than many business people I work with, and many speakers.

He wasn't in a hurry to tell me what he wanted to tell me.

He listened to my needs and gave suggestions accordingly.

He freely shared resources that I wouldn't have known about otherwise.

This is plain-old good customer service, and it doesn't matter if you're a doctor, speaker, sales clerk, bank teller, software engineer, marketing guru, life coach, artist, manufacturer or server: This is the minimum you should be providing your audience or client.

When's the last time you experienced really great customer service? It stands out, doesn't it? Do you stand out like this?

Another giveaway! There's an Adult in My Soup!

One of my favorite blogs to read has been the Escape Adulthood blog by Kim and Jason Kotecki.

Even though it -- technically -- has nothing to do with public speaking, I have always found it relevant to what a lot of people go through in avoiding public speaking. The fear of looking foolish, the fear of trying new things, the fear of standing out: all symptoms of "adultitis," a term coined by Kim and Jason to explain a condition "marked by chronic dullness, mild depression, moderate to extremely high stress levels, a general fear of change, and, in some extreme cases, the inability to smile."

Here are some posts where I've referenced their concepts:

Overwhelmed and busy ... do we have a choice?

It's okay to be a beginner

The secret to productivity ... and public speaking?

Who cares if you mess up?

ANYWAY, they've got a new book out, called "There's an Adult in My Soup," a compilation of essays and blog posts -- "recipes for cooking up the life of your dreams." And I'm going to give one away (signed!) to celebrate my third anniversary of blogging, and also because I think everyone needs less adultitis in their lives.

Some of my favorite essays:

"Busy: The New Four-Letter Word," is about how adults tend to compete over who's busiest. The problem is, nobody wins in this competition. It's all lose-lose.

Kim officially makes the word "busy" a bad word. As she says, "The funny thing is that everyone has the same amount of time, so if you are 'busy' it's your own fault. The flaw is in you."

"FTERA. Do You Have It?" Failure To Enjoy Recent Accomplishments is a new malady discovered by Jason's father where we do not take time "to delight in the little things and maintain perspective." (See my blog Yay Life! for more on enjoying the little things.)

FTERA is about always wanting or needing the next thing to come along. We can't be content to be satisfied with what's already accomplished; we have to constantly be grasping for the next event/activity/project.

"Stress Begets Stress" Kim says, "I happened upon an article talking about the trend of commuters leaving earlier and earlier, while also leaving work later in the day to avoid traffic, only to find themselves pulling twelve- to thirteen-hour days. Adultitis, much?"

"The lesson here is simple. YOU are in charge of your life. If it's a stressed-out mess, it's time to stop blaming your circumstances and start moving towards change."

"Silly Ideas" How many of you have a "silly" idea that you're afraid to pursue because you're worried about how others will think of you? I thought so. A lot. Kim and Jason encourage "dreaming big and following through on 'silly' ideas."

This book focuses on all of my favorite ideas: taking charge of your life, making your own choices, facing the naysayers, embracing who you are and what you want out of life, and letting your childlike curious and fun-seeking self out of the closet.

If you don't win it in my giveaway, I highly encourage you to buy it. And even if you don't buy it, please take a look at Escape Adulthood. I promise it will inspire you and brighten your day. And who doesn't need some of that?

Tell me in the comments how you fight adultitis in your life! I will draw a random name from the commenters on Monday, October 19. What better day to fight adultitis, adults' most hated day of the week?

Cognitive load -- and overload

Getting back into the swing of things today! It's nice to be home.

I want to bring your attention to these slides from a talk by Dr. Chris Atherton from the University of Central Lancashire. She talks about the brain's limits of attention and cognitive load, and how we can work around these limitations to make the greatest impact on audience attention and retention.

In short: Traditional slides loaded with text, bullets and clutter don't work! Yep, more research to back up the need for less text and more images. Yay!

Like any good slide show, these visuals are not meant to stand alone. You can get the gist of the presentation from the slides, so do take a look, below. But then head over to Olivia Mitchell's blog, where she has explained the research more thoroughly with the help of the slides and with Dr. Atherton's comments. This is a presentation I would love to see live!

Here's an excerpt:

"Chris suggests that the sparse slides may minimize extraneous cognitive load by creating fewer competing demands on attention — that is, because we don’t need to spend very long processing the visual elements, we have more attention for what the speaker is saying. She adds:

'Having anything on a screen invites people to look at it, the same way their gaze would keep returning to a TV screen in a pub. Since you can’t control the audience’s visual attention, it’s all about controlling what visual information you make available at any given moment, and minimising what is there so it’s not distracting from the spoken narrative, while also ensuring that it is congruent with what you are actually saying.'"

Chris Atherton at TCUK09

View more documents from Chris Atherton.

(Thank you for your support over the past week. If you'd like an update on my mom, I wrote about her here.)

Blogiversary #3

Today is my third blogiversary! I would have liked to do something special on the blog, but under the circumstances (see last post), just getting here to write this note is an accomplishment!

Thank you so much to my awesome readers for being here and reading when you can. I write for you because I want to share my experience and knowledge, and I hope to make public speaking more fun and less scary. I'm always open to hearing what issues you'd like to know more about.

I'll try to get some new posts up in the next few days.

Blog break

Hey everyone! I apologize for not writing sooner. My mom had a heart attack on Monday and I've been up in Sacramento with my family since then. We thought we might head home today, but she's had a little backslide, so we're probably going to stick around for the weekend, or at least until we're feeling a little better about her condition. I hope to get back to the blog next week, but if I fall behind, now you know why.

Back soon!

An awkward moment

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You think you're afraid of making a fool of yourself onstage? Imagine being Lady Gaga on Saturday Night Live, wearing a gyroscope-type costume, first trying not to hit herself in the face with the rig while performing and then figuring out how to sit and play the piano as gracefully as possible.

To acknowledge the delay in the performance as she gingerly seated herself, she gave a little wave to the audience. After playing for a moment, she stopped again to remove her sunglasses, which seemed to be in the way as well. In the break she cheerfully remarked, "Hello SNL!"

Sometimes we face awkward or embarrassing moments during our presentations. Sometimes things don't go as smoothly as planned, even after practicing and rehearsing. But handling these moments with grace and humor goes a long way toward minimizing the discomfort of speaker and audience. Focus on the audience's comfort as well as your own. When you're uncomfortable and awkward, the audience absorbs that feeling and reflects it back.

Have you ever seen an athlete throw a temper tantrum when things didn't go their way? Of course you have. It just makes the situation worse, which is something we've all known since we were toddlers.

Take those clumsy moments lightly. Brush them off as minor nuisances, smile and keep going. You maintain your dignity and the audience maintains their respect for you.

Watch Lady Gaga's performance here:

Yesterday's inspirational speaker: Susan B. Anthony

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Here's more on Susan B. Anthony from the Cracker Jack prize:

"In her 50 years as a reformer, Susan B. Anthony championed many causes, including the abolishment of slavery and equality for all. But it was her tireless work as an organizer and inspirational speaker for women's rights for which she is best known. She was convinced that truly equal opportunities for women could not be realized until women gained the right to vote. Twenty years after she resigned as president of the National American Woman Suffrage Association, and fourteen years after her death, the 19th Amendment was ratified, giving women the right to vote."

In fact, the entire women's movement arose from the abolitionist movement, which makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Susan B. Anthony is one of my heroes; here's a post I wrote about her and Elizabeth Cady Stanton for International Women's Day two years ago: http://coachlisab.blogspot.com/2007/03/international-womens-day-little-late.html.

We should never take for granted the human and civil rights we have today because of the hard work of women and men from past generations. And the fight is not over; people still struggle around the world for basic rights.

How do these advocates make change happen? By speaking out! By using their voices to educate, inform and persuade. By learning how to reach their audiences on an emotional level that motivates them to take action.

And it's not just in front of large audiences that we can effect positive change with our voices. When you hear an offensive comment, do you say something or do you let it go, embarrassed to speak up and confront the person? Change happens one person at a time. Using your voice to make the world a better place is one of the most generous and satisfying ways you can contribute to change.

What would you like to see improved in your community, your state, your country, your universe? Maybe you should consider doing something about it! Speak up!