Holiday shopping for the speakers on your list

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Once again, Andrew Dlugan at Six Minutes has posted an excellent list of gifts for speakers. And once again, I will follow suit with my own list. You should find excellent gifts in all price ranges on both our lists, whether for the seasoned pro or for the busy speaker-around-the-office.

(My favorite previously mentioned countdown timer has been discontinued... I'll be on the lookout for a suitable replacement and report back!)

Technology

Listen to your presentation after the fact with a digital voice recorder

Videotape yourself (and -- why not? -- your audience) with this tiny Flip Mino camcorder

Unhitch yourself from the laptop with a wireless presentation remote

If you don't want to leave your technology to chance, invest in your own portable Super-Slim Data Projector

Visuals

Make your audience notes portable when you carry a lightweight
table top easel pad

Or if you're in the market for a reusable flip chart, try this table top dry erase easel pad (I've never tried this one but I love the idea!)

I like these scented colored markers, but if you prefer unscented bullet tip markers, try these instead.

Fun and Useful Tools

Document stand for your speaker notes

To keep your audience engaged and stimulated, bring toys, toys, and more toys (I also like to give my tiny "No Hecklers" buttons to audience members...)

Use this hand pointer to poke some fun at the audience

Carry your speaking gear in a "No Hecklers" tote bag!

Or how about a t-shirt, mug, or magnet for your favorite speaker? Sayings include, "Speakers do it in front of an audience," "Old speakers never die, they just go on and on," and "I could talk 'til you're blue in the face."

Reading Recommendations

Learn how to make your message memorable with Chip and Dan Heath's
Made to Stick

Dump the boring templates and bullets and create engaging support materials with Beyond Bullet Points

Get the inside scoop on handling media like a pro with Media Training A-Z

An interesting sneak peek behind the scenes of the motivational speaking industry Yes You Can! Behind the Hype and Hustle of the Motivation Biz

And if you'd like an alternative to the usual Martin Luther King/Lincoln/Churchill "famous speeches" books, how about one that shines the spotlight on historical speeches by women? Women at the Podium : Memorable Speeches in History

Packed full of useful tips based on real professional speakers' experiences, National Speakers Association "Speaker Magazine" is a must-have to build your skills

Happy shopping and while you're at it, why not pick up a little something for yourself? If you're really stumped, there's always an Amazon gift card!

5 Ways to spiff up your act, BBC America-style

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The BBC America show "Mary Queen of Shops" has brilliant lessons for anyone in business, from retailers, who the show focuses on, to speakers, coaches, consultants and anyone who is serving customers and clients.

Mary Portas is one of the UK's foremost authorities on retail and brand communication. On this television show, she is invited by the owners of struggling fashion boutiques to come in and help them get back on their feet through a process of analysis of the space, the stock, and the skills and talents of the staff. Here are some of Mary's standard operating procedures.

1. She researches the business in advance, learning about the staff and owners, their positions and experience. She visits the shop when the owners aren't in, to get a feel of the space and the items offered for sale.

This is what we, as speakers, should be doing before every speaking engagement: visiting the space and researching our audience. Who are they? What do they know? What do they have? What do they need?

You can't help them or serve them until you know where they're coming from.

2. She views the shop from the perspective of a customer. Why would I come into the shop if the window display is unappealing? Why would I shop that rack when it's full of last year's rejects?

Do you put yourself in your audience's shoes? Do you present a satisfying appearance? Are your visuals engaging? Is your content up to date?

3. She presents the staff with exercises to get them out of their ruts. One buyer meets with a top magazine editor to learn what classic pieces every man should have in his wardrobe. One owner meets with a group of plus-size women, dresses them in what she believes to be attractive, and then receives feedback on her choices. Two buyers attend a concert where they are put to work selling the band's t-shirts as practice for more aggressive selling in the shop.

Do you give your audience exercises and activities to help them practice and internalize your points? Do you use demonstrations and real-life examples so they can apply your message to their real lives?

4. She gives the shop a makeover, removing outdated clothing and art, painting, refurnishing and giving the space a rebirth. She occasionally changes the shop name altogether if it doesn't fit with the shop's new image and focus.

Are your presentations new and intriguing to the audience or are you trotting out the same old stale material because "It's a new audience and they've never heard it?" Do you frequently look at your content with critical eyes, updating and freshening it with current stories and data?

5. She revisits the shop 4-6 weeks later to see how the business is doing.

Do you follow up with your audiences by offering evaluations or checking back with the meeting organizer to see how your presentation helped them? Do you want to know if your participants are using what they learned, or do you just move on to the next gig, never looking back?

Mary is a consultant, a coach, an educator, a trainer and a support person. Her goal is not short-term, to make radical changes that satisfy her desires and then walk away and leave them to it. She gives the owners and staff the tools they need to see their business with fresh eyes, from the customer's perspective, and to reignite their passion for the work they do. And the bottom line... to save the business from going under.

She's blunt and straightforward. She doesn't beat around the bush, but she only wants the best for her clients. She's as proud as a mother hen when she visits six weeks later to find newly energized employees implementing the ideas they acquired. And, of course, when sales and profits have increased as a result of her work, her primary goal has been met.

Do you want the best for your audience, your client, your customer? How do you make it happen?

"101 Tips" e-book is available for Kindle!

My e-book, "101 Tips to Improve Your Public Speaking" is now available in the Kindle store!

You can also subscribe to Speak Schmeak for your Kindle at this link.

Of course, if you don't have a Kindle, the e-book is still available here, as always.

Clothing distractions and malfunctions

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Watching Wanda Sykes the other night on her TV show, I noticed her doing something I've done many times when sitting in front of an audience: Trying to cover the tummy bulge.

She sits down to talk to Keith and first tries to cover up by pulling her jacket over her abdomen. Then, she appears to straighten her posture and suck it in. Last, she folds her arms over her stomach, and moves on with the scene. Watch the clip below.

(FYI: the clip stops when it's supposed to, but the sound continues after a few seconds. To stop it, click back to the video and click the pause button.)



Here's a tip: If you're not comfortable in what you're wearing, it shows.

When you're planning what to wear for a speaking engagement, think about what you'll be doing. Will you be standing, sitting, jumping, running, bending? Will your shoes hurt your feet, will your shirt ride up, will your bra straps droop, will your clingy shirt reveal your tummy bulge when you sit down? And will you be distracted by this?

I have some outfits that look great on me when I'm standing, but not so great when I'm sitting. I know that now and take it into account when I'm preparing myself for a gig. Also, it's a good idea to have a couple of safety pins in your "kit" for emergencies. You never know when you'll pop a button or a hem will fall.

Don't overlook these seemingly minor details; you may find yourself spending a very uncomfortable hour in front of your audience, unable to concentrate on your presentation because your underwear is giving you a wedgie. Nobody wants that.

What clothing malfunctions have you experienced?

Simple and sticky

Watch this American Express commercial for a perfect example of a sticky message. I guarantee that the message will stay with you, and the advertiser uses nothing more than simple images and music.

Of all the principles of a sticky idea, I think simplicity is my favorite. Presenting an idea simply can be a lot of work for the speaker in the preparation stage, but by the time it gets to the audience, they hardly have to work at all to understand it. Beautiful.

If you haven't yet read Chip and Dan Heath's book, "Made to Stick," I can't recommend it enough as a guide to creating unforgettable messages.

Don't be macho -- use a mic

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I'll be the first to admit that I take an almost macho pride in my ability to project my voice. I was born this way. Even when I wasn't trying, I could be heard talking a mile away. And yes, I got in trouble a lot in school for being too loud.

However, I've learned my lesson about voice overuse, and I'm happy to say that if a microphone is available and a group is over about 40 people, I will use it. Here's why.

Even if you can be heard in the last row without shouting, you will be straining your voice to some degree if you have to give an hour-long or longer presentation to a large group. In order to be heard, you will have to make the effort to project your voice the whole time. In addition, you will be close to your maximum range in terms of volume, without yelling, and you won't have a lot of options with vocal variety. For example, if you want to make a point by bringing your voice down low, the last row may not hear you.

If you use a microphone, however, you have much more vocal control and the ability to play with vocal variety. You still have to project, even with a microphone, but not to the degree that you have to without it.

You can also hear yourself better and get more of a sense of what the audience is hearing when you use a microphone, because your voice is playing over a PA system. This allows you more vocal creativity and control, as I mentioned above, because you don't have to work as hard to project. And if you want to bring your voice down low, you can -- and still be heard.

Even if you, like me, have a naturally projecting voice, please consider not only the health of your vocal cords, but the ears of the audience when you decide whether or not to use a microphone. The last row should not be struggling to hear you, and you should be able to use the full range and abilities of your voice to make your message more compelling.

Don't be macho. Use a mic.

And here's a handout with more info on using a microphone.

Make it personal

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A Twitter user asked the other day if her followers preferred purely "on topic" tweets or if they liked some personal tweets that help you get to know the tweeter. Her replies all said the same thing: they liked a mix of business and personal tweets so they could get to know the tweeter a little. And several people mentioned that Twitter is about building relationships.

Public speaking is the same way (in fact, I might argue that you're public speaking every time you post a tweet!). If you stand up in front of an audience and recite facts, figures and data, your audience will learn a few things, but they won't connect with you personally.

The personal connection is what makes them want to know more, want to follow up with you, want to tell their friends and colleagues about you. When they can relate to you as a person and feel like they know you a little, they're more likely to recommend you to others.

People like to have relationships. They like to feel connected. Remember this when you tweet and when you speak.

Hey, are we Twitter friends yet? Here's my profile!

A tough room

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We enjoyed a lively show by They Might Be Giants yesterday afternoon. What we didn't realize when we bought our tickets was that it was a family show promoting their latest children's album, "Here Comes Science" (4:00 did seem a little early for a start time). The audience was full of kids wearing balloon hats and carrying balloon swords, picked up at the family festival before the show.

Last week, TMBG was interviewed in our local weekly, and one question stood out to me about the difference between audiences of adults and audiences of kids.

Independent: You're playing both adult and family shows during this tour. How would you compare them?

TMBG: I'd say the main difference for us as artists is that the kids are a little bit of a tougher room. They don't worry as hard about how we're doing.

Adults want you to succeed onstage. It makes them nervous when the band isn't going over, so they'll bump up the enthusiasm with feedback. They also observe these formal rules of a concert: They face the stage, and they applaud at the end of the song, and they don’t talk during the song because that’s what makes them comfortable. Kids don’t have these same concerns. [Laughs.]

For some of them, you're just what's going on in the room, and they're not all that worried about it being a successful show. They might not applaud, or they might be facing the other way, or they might be talking to their friend … or on the floor. But then there are a lot of young kids who come right up to the front and pump their fists and sing along to all the songs.

It's kind of exciting, actually, to think that we might be introducing kids to rock music or to live concerts. There might be kids out there for whom this is their first live show, and that’s really cool. That’s an important memory.

Watch the video below not just for an introduction to one of my favorite songs from the show, "Meet the Elements," but for an example of a visual that is fun to watch, easy to understand and sticky for how memorable it is! (Lyrics are below.)



Iron is a metal, you see it every day
Oxygen, eventually, will make it rust away
Carbon in its ordinary form is coal
Crush it together, and diamonds are born

Come on come on and meet the elements
May I introduce you to our friends, the elements?
Like a box of paints that are mixed to make every shade
They either combine to make a chemical compound or stand alone as they are

Neon's a gas that lights up the sign for a pizza place
The coins that you pay with are copper, nickel, and zinc
Silicon and oxygen make concrete bricks and glass
Now add some gold and silver for some pizza place class

Come on come on and meet the elements
I think you should check out the ones they call the elements
Like a box of paints that are mixed to make every shade
They either combine to make a chemical compound or stand alone as they are

Team up with other elements making compounds when they combine
Or make up a simple element formed out of atoms of the one kind

Balloons are full of helium, and so is every star
Stars are mostly hydrogen, which may someday fill your car

Hey, who let in all these elephants?
Did you know that elephants are made of elements?
Elephants are mostly made of four elements
And every living thing is mostly made of four elements
Plants, bugs, birds, fish, bacteria and men
Are mostly carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen and oxygen

Come on come on and meet the elements
You and I are complicated, but we're made of elements
Like a box of paints that are mixed to make every shade
They either combine to make a chemical compound or stand alone as they are

Team up with other elements making compounds when they combine
Or make up a simple element formed out of atoms of the one kind

Come on come on and meet the elements
Check out the ones they call the elements
Like a box of paints that are mixed to make every shade
They either combine to make a chemical compound or stand alone as they are

You think you're doing a good job, but you're not

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Is this you?

You're very busy. You're running your business, writing a book, traveling to speak at conferences and trainings, living your life in the cracks between business engagements and trying to find two minutes in the day to breathe.

You believe that you do everything well, even when you're rushed and stressed, because you get good evaluations and you're invited back.

You created a PowerPoint presentation for a prestigious conference, mostly cut and pasted from other presentations you've done in the past, sent it in a month or two ago because they required it, and you haven't looked at it since. Your presentation is next week.

You start to go over the presentation and realize that there are a lot of errors, inconsistent fonts and colors, slides in the wrong order, too many slides for the length of your talk, and general disarray. You realize that your assistant didn't do a very good job of editing, but you never proofread the final draft.

How do you know this? Because you called me at the last minute to help you finalize your presentation.

If you didn't call me and clean up some of the mess, you just got on a plane with a haphazardly thrown together presentation that you haven't practiced and might not even make any sense.

Is this you?

Guess what: You can't do good work if you don't prioritize. You can't give a good presentation if you haven't put one together in the first place. Your audience can't grasp and internalize your message if it's scattered about like pollen on a windy day.

You think you're doing a good job, but I imagine all of your projects are suffering in one way or another because of your inability or unwillingness to slow down and focus on what needs to be done, done well, right now.

You think you're doing a good job, but you're not. Believe me.

An argument worth rehearsing

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"I don't wish to be impertinent, Miss Walters, but it's an argument worth rehearsing. You never know; someone else might want to know the point of it all one day."

In the movie, An Education, student Jenny argues with her headmistress about the value of a traditional education vs. leaving school to marry an older man who has exposed her to art, music and travel.

Do you know what the arguments are against your points? Are you prepared to address them?

It's a quick way to lose credibility if you're not prepared to stand behind your assertions.

See the clip below with the full context of the argument.

Don't be afraid to lay a stinky egg bomb

In an interview with the Foo Fighters recently, Jack Black asked the band if their song ideas ever dry up. The answer was no.

JB: "You never have the fear that you are now empty... ever."

FF: "That's not to say that I think we write the greatest songs ever in the history of songs. But I feel like we could go into the studio for a week and come out with something."

JB: "It's a confidence thing. You have enormous confidence. You're not afraid to fail and lay a stinky egg bomb."

One of the band members talked about meeting Neil Diamond and asking him the same question, as Neil Diamond had started out as a songwriter who had to write for a living. He said that songwriting is like a muscle. If you don't write for a long time the first batch is probably not going to be that great, and that you have to keep the muscles toned.

The Foo Fighters mentioned that a lot of their best songs come at the end of a writing cycle, when the muscle is "built" and warmed up. That is, "Keep your song muscle hard."

Jack Black also asked about old songs that didn't make it onto albums.

JB: "The rest of them, that didn't make it on that first album, did they make it on future albums?"

FF: "No."

JB: "Those just went into the furnace."

FF: "Pretty much. We've got a lot of those over the last 15 years. We'll start in on an album with, like 30, and then wind up with 12. And the other 18 sometimes come back, but they never make it, because they didn't in the first place. It sucked then, it sucks now."

These comments made a lot of sense to me as a writer and speaker.

First, you have to have the confidence to keep putting out new material and trying new things, even if you're not 100% sure it's your greatest. You can take the risk of putting out something less than stellar, or you can not put out anything at all. Which one will move you forward?

Second, you have to keep your creative muscles toned. Keep writing, keep presenting, even if it's giving your elevator speech at networking events. Keep practicing, because your speaking, writing and creating muscles can get flabby!

Third, not everything you put out there is going to be fabulous, and that's okay. Those bits and pieces of writing and material may come back again and they might even fit into a new presentation or a new book. And they might not. But don't stop producing just because you're afraid of laying a stinky egg bomb.

Look at the successful people around you. Look at your favorite musicians, actors, athletes, and business role models. What lessons can you learn from them?

First impressions follow you everywhere

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Hypothetical situation: You're a person who is highly visible in the community. You are a well-known business owner, a philanthropist, or a politician. People talk about you; media covers anything you do.

You're having a bad day and an annoying stranger cuts in line ahead of you. You are less than friendly about it. Word gets around.

Someone calls your home and your spouse can't be bothered to take a message. People talk.

Because people know who you are, there is no time or place that you are not "on."

You, reader, may think you're lucky to escape the constant scrutiny of the public as an average citizen. But the truth is, if you want to be successful as a speaker or business owner -- or anyone else who relies on other people for your livelihood -- you might want to rethink that.

Here's another hypothetical situation: You've been engaged to speak for the local Junior League chapter. You're driving to the meeting and someone cuts you off on the freeway. You honk your horn, yell some obscenities, maybe even (no, not YOU!) flip them off.

You get to the meeting and -- guess what -- the person on the freeway is the president of the organization you're speaking for.

Or you're staying at a hotel where you're speaking at a conference. You get into an elevator to go to your room, and as someone runs for the elevator, you let it close. So what? Next day, you find that person in your seminar, surrounded by influential colleagues. You may have thought it was no big deal, but that person now considers you exceedingly rude.

It may sound like I'm saying that you should always be on your best behavior because you never know when you're going to encounter a client or even a prospective client, and you want to make a good impression. And yes, that's true.

But really, we make an impression everywhere we go. If you really want to make a good impression all the time, you just have to be a good person. It's a lot of work to always be wondering who's watching. It's actually a lot less work to stop worrying about who's watching and just be a better person all the time.

And, by the way, if you are a person in the public eye, you might want to train your family members on how to take your phone calls. Unfortunately, they are an extension of your brand and your business, and their bad behavior can harm you just like your own can.

First impressions follow you, everywhere you go. Remember that.

How useful are you?

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When reading this post by Scott Ginsberg, I was struck by how similar his tips for making money are to tips for giving a successful presentation. Check it out...

"9. Revenue is the aftershock of usefulness.

If you want to make money, make something that people need. If you want to make money, make something that replaces something. If you want to make money, make something that doesn’t require explaining. If you want to make money, make something that helps people say goodbye to something they hate.

If you want to make money, make something that makes people stop, sit up, notice, and yell into the kitchen, “Hey honey, look at this!” If you want to make money, make something that solves people’s expensive, urgent, pervasive and relevant problems. If you want to make money, make something that saves people time and frustration. If you want to make money, make something that is appealing to more than just yourself and your two roommates.

If you want to make money, make something worth making a series of YouTube videos about that people will (actually) watch instead of rolling their eyes and deleting from their inbox when their mom sends it to them. If you want to make money, make something that people never realized they wanted – but after trying it – can’t possibly imagine surviving without. How useful are you?"

How about this:

If you want to give a successful presentation, give information about something that people need.

If you want to give a successful presentation, share resources that help people say goodbye to something they hate.

If you want to give a successful presentation, offer content that solves people’s expensive, urgent, pervasive and relevant problems.

If you want to give a successful presentation, provide solutions that save people time and frustration.

If you want to give a successful presentation, deliver material that is appealing to more than just yourself and your two roommates.

And so on...

It stands to reason, then, that if you give successful presentations, you might also make more money in the process! Meeting the needs of the audience, making yourself useful, providing relevant tools and resources... This is a win-win situation for everyone involved.

How can you be more useful?

L.O.V.E.

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I watched the Michael Jackson movie "This is It" last night. There were so many messages that seemed relevant to pass along. Here are a few of my thoughts.

Communication

When MJ wants to make his ideas clear to the musicians, he uses evocative words like "simmer" and "sizzle." At one point, he tells the music supervisor to slow down the beat like "you're dragging yourself out of bed." He also suggests not rushing the music in order to "nourish" the audience.

He always tries to find a way to describe his experience or the experience he's looking for in a way that is understandable to those listening. His communication is minimalist but efficient.

Calm

There's a sense that, no matter how big and complex this show, MJ will never lose his cool. He has a sense of calm about him that seems to make others relaxed -- no one seems stressed out in this film!

It's all about the audience

In a pep talk to his cast and crew at the end of the movie, he says, "There's no need to be nervous." He describes the show as "an adventure, a great adventure." Of the audience, he says, "We want to take them places they've never been before. We want to show them talent like they've never seen before."

Director Kenny Ortega said in an interview with MTV, "The fans meant everything to Michael. They were his food, his fuel, his life source, his energy, and he was energized by them and he appreciated their loyalty more than I can ever say. This film is for the fans."

Throughout the movie, MJ pays attention to every detail of the show, partly because he has a vision that he's trying to achieve, but also because he wants the audience to get it. He wants the audience to have the best possible experience.

Gratitude

He is thankful for each person involved in the production. He's thankful for his audience. When he gives direction to his crew, his response is always, "God bless you." There is a constant sense of gratitude on the set.

Humility

When his colleagues applaud him, he "throws" it back to them. When Orianthi Panagaris, a sensational young Australian guitarist, comes downstage for her solo, he reminds her to go for it: "It's your time to shine." (Check out video of her playing below.) He personally meets with the dancers and singers to go over rehearsal pieces instead of leaving it up to choreographers and music directors.

While he is obviously the star of the show and the man in charge, he never forgets that he is not alone and that he is relying on the talents of others to make this production the best it can be. He is a collaborator and a coach as well as the star.

The best of the best

MJ knows to surround himself with the best people in the industry. The dancers, the musicians, the singers, the crew: these people are the best at what they do. When he explains how a piece of music should sound or how to cue a sound effect, he doesn't have to say it twice. These people get things done.

Love

"It's all for love. L.O.V.E."

This may sound corny, but there's a lot of love in this movie. You can't miss MJ's love for his art and his music. You can't miss his love for his fans and his colleagues. When you love what you do, your audience can't help but absorb that positive energy.

This movie shows what it takes to be a creative visionary and a top performer. You can see the blend of talent and skill that goes into being an artist like Michael Jackson. You can also see how putting the audience first has made Michael Jackson millions of fans around the world, including the people hired to work with him on this production.

There are some valuable lessons we can all learn as speakers and performers from watching this movie. Doesn't hurt that it's also as entertaining as heck!

The curse is back!

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One of my favorite concepts to illustrate from "Made to Stick" is the Curse of Knowledge. I've written about it here and here.

We all have some kind of knowledge that others don't have. It becomes a curse when we fail to recognize that what is obvious to us is completely opaque to someone else. Then we have miscommunication, resentment, boredom and all kinds of negative consequences.

Here's an example of the curse that was passed along to me confidentially. No names will be revealed!

Eleanor Entrepreneur has been invited to advertise on Tracy TV's television show. Eleanor Entrepreneur wants to know the benefits to her business and the return on investment of this advertising package. Tracy TV shares with Eleanor Entrepreneur a handout describing "What it takes to produce a television show" in hopes that Eleanor will see the value of contributing her advertising dollars.

(Do I even have to tell you that this is all about the benefit to the television show, and not at all about Eleanor Entrepreneur? But putting that aside...)

Here's the list Eleanor Entrepreneur was given of "What it takes to produce a television show":

Research -- cutting edge -- up to date

Writing -- organizing script, facts, people

Interviews

Shooting video

Lighting

Audio

Director

6 associates

Editing time 1 minute = 3-5 hours

Opening -- design, editing

Locations

Does this make any sense to you? Does it answer any questions? Does it tell you one thing about the time, cost or equipment required to produce a TV show? (This question is obviously for those of you who don't know anything about producing a TV show.)

I laughed out loud when I looked at this list. The TV people clearly think this handout is going to help them gain advertising. However, unless they can overcome their curse of knowledge, the list will only confuse their prospects and as the saying goes, "A confused mind always says no."

Always, ALWAYS make sure that you are explaining concepts in the clearest, simplest, most explicit terms. Do not ever assume that people understand what you're talking about, especially if you are talking about specific industry or business terms that might be considered jargon or lingo.

You don't want to alienate people. You want to draw people to you. You want people to relate to you. You want people to get you. That's how you persuade, sell or motivate.

The curse of knowledge has an antidote: Put yourself in the shoes of your listener. Imagine they don't know what you know. Then make your ideas simple for them. Curse removed!

Is your vocab in a rut?

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About ten years ago I was interviewed for my high school alumni magazine. When I read the article for fact checking, what stood out was how little the quotes sounded like me. The writer had taken some artistic license with my words, one of which was apparently "terrific." I don't say "terrific." "Fabulous" or "awesome," but not "terrific." However, I know the writer, and she says "terrific."

We all get into word ruts. We find a word we like and we stick with it. I used to say "a few" until I picked up on my husband's use of "several." Now I say "several" all the time.

During Rachel Maddow's interview with David Brancaccio the other day, Brancaccio said "bunch" a bunch of times (well, only three times) instead of "a lot," or "many," for example. It was noticeable just because he repeated it. And we all do this.

We all have different sets of words we're comfortable with, a language and speaking style we've developed throughout our lives. In addition, not all the words we know are words we speak. Wikipedia explains this well:

"Reading vocabulary

A person's reading vocabulary is all the words he or she can recognize when reading. This is the largest type of vocabulary simply because it includes the other three.

Listening vocabulary

A person's listening vocabulary is all the words he or she can recognize when listening to speech. This vocabulary is aided in size by context and tone of voice.

Writing vocabulary

A person's writing vocabulary is all the words he or she can employ in writing. Contrary to the previous two vocabulary types, the writing vocabulary is stimulated by its user.

Speaking vocabulary

A person's speaking vocabulary is all the words he or she can use in speech. Due to the spontaneous nature of the speaking vocabulary, words are often misused. This misuse – though slight and unintentional – may be compensated by facial expressions, tone of voice, or hand gestures."

How do we explore our vocabulary and get greater usage from it? When I suggest exploring your vocabulary, I'm not suggesting using bigger or more complicated words, or necessarily learning more words (although that's not a bad idea). What I am suggesting is saying what you really mean and using vocabulary to be more clear in your communication. Especially if, like me, you find yourself in a rut using the same words over and over, and you know there are better options.

Say you want to describe something that happened that was "really bad." Was it tragic? Was it horrific? Was it traumatic? Was it scary? Was it gnarly? (A SoCal reference, if that one's not in your vocab.) Was it all of the above? What are you really trying to say? Each word adds a different nuance to the story.

Even if you're not much of a reader, try to find some time for reading books, magazines or newspapers to refresh your vocabulary. And if you come across a word you're not familiar with, get out your dictionary or bookmark one for online reference. When I was a kid, "Look it up!" was an everyday exclamation in our house. We also played a lot of word games, like Scrabble and Boggle. Yes, I'm a word nerd, but you don't have to be one to find the value in stimulating your vocabulary.

Also, consider using a thesaurus when you find yourself stuck in a rut. I use Thesaurus.com almost daily when writing, to make sure I'm not using the same stale old words but -- and this is important -- I try to find words that are still "me." If I never say "terrific" in conversation, it's doubtful I'm going to use it in a blog post.

Here's a page on building your vocabulary with some entertaining (I wanted to say "fun" but forced myself not to) quizzes and a lot of helpful links.