December 31, 2010

The one thing you can do to be a better speaker...



If there's one thing that will make you a better speaker...

If there's one thing that will make you a better networker (both online and in-person)...

If there's one thing that will make you a better businessperson, it's this:

Show interest in others.

It's a free gift of yourself, your time, your attention, that you give someone with no expectation of reciprocity or repayment. Why would you want to do this?

1. Audiences respond better to someone who doesn't come across like a diva.

You can't stand on a stage and talk about how brilliant you are, or all the famous people you know, or how spectacular your product or service is, and expect rave reviews. Your audience wants to know you're a real person who's been in their shoes, or at least can relate to the problem they are there to solve.

2. Clients and customers want to know you're paying attention to their needs.

If your product is a square peg and your client is a round hole, no matter how hard you push or insist, there will not be a good fit. Your client will look elsewhere until they find the round peg.

3. Prospects want to know "What's in it for me?" not how many ingredients are in your magic potion.

Your potential customers aren't interested in the minute details of your product; they just want to know how it's going to make their life better. They just want to know how what you know can help them.

Are you one of those people on Twitter who thinks you're doing a public service by constantly promoting yourself, your tips, your product, but never has a real conversation with anyone?

Are you one of those people at networking events whose goal is to give out as many business cards as possible, but never takes a few minutes to find out who you're actually talking to?

Are you one of those people on Facebook who constantly complains and gripes about the people and situations in your life, but never responds to others' personal stories?

*Okay, maybe we're all one of those people from time to time. But.*

If you want to get more business...

If you want to get more speaking engagements...

If you want people to want to be around you, period...

You have to show people you care about them. That's it. There's not one single thing that's more effective or more important.

What do you think?

December 30, 2010

What's happening in January



Here's a quick overview of opportunities coming up in January that you might want to sign up for!



The next AskLisaB coaching Q&A call is January 11 -- have you submitted your question?

Starting in January, the AskLisaB Q&A calls will be subscriber-only; only paid subscribers will be able to submit questions, have access to recordings, and receive the other resource materials and bonuses associated with each call. If you want a free taste of what you get on the calls, I have two full recordings posted on the site for you to listen to.

Sign up now to participate in the next call at 10 a.m. PST on Tuesday, January 11. Then mark your calendars for the same time on the second Tuesday of each month.

You don't have to be live on the call -- all subscribers will receive a recording and all resource materials after the call. So if this isn't in your time zone or you have a prior commitment, it's all okay!

Remember, the sooner you submit your question, the more likely I will be to address it on the upcoming call. In December, questions answered included how to exude confidence, standing out in the crowd, speaking off the cuff, and the "right" number of slides.



The early bird special is over, but you can still get 20% off public speaking group coaching in Santa Barbara!

Sign up by January 14 and refer a friend (who signs up before January 14) -- you BOTH get 20% off!

My next six-week program starts January 19 from 6:15 - 7:30. Info here.



Meet me in San Francisco, January 15-18

San Franciscans: If you've been wanting to schedule a one-on-one coaching session, but prefer meeting in person over talking on the phone, this is your chance! I'll be in town from the 15th through the 18th, so get in touch and let's do some coaching.

December 28, 2010

17 locks



A friend of mine is one of the top computer security experts in the country. He's part of a team of professional hackers and researchers at UC Santa Barbara that was recently interviewed in the Santa Barbara Independent.

While the article was fascinating and gave a rare inside glimpse into the world of cyber crime, I have to confess that my favorite part was Giovanni's "17 locks" analogy. From the article:

"So why not just build computer systems that are 100-percent secure? Because it's impossible. This is largely related to the balance between security and ease. Theoretically, everyone could use exceedingly long and complicated passwords on computers that offered very few features (since every application offers a new way for hackers to enter your system).

'Think about 17 locks on your car,' said Vigna one evening at Santa Barbara Brewing Company, the first place I met all three of UCSB's hackerazzi together. 'Would you buy a car like that?'"

The reporter spells out in detail the argument against more secure computers, but in one brief sentence, one razor-sharp analogy tells us everything we need to know about why computers aren't 100% secure, in a way that the majority of people can understand instantly.

A good analogy is a powerful thing in a presentation. It can make your point in a second, and is usually much more effective than a long, drawn-out explanation. However, the best analogy supports a more detailed explanation, as demonstrated above.

A strong analogy is almost guaranteed to make your points stick in the audience's minds, like this one will stick with me -- probably forever.

If you're not sure how to come up with analogies for your presentations, check out my previous post, "Three steps for adding analogies to your presentations".

More analogies and tips here:

Use analogies to make an impact

Favorite analogies

Don't crash and burn

Does your presentation taste as good as it looks?

December 24, 2010

Put one foot in front of the other



A favorite holiday blog post that also has a great message about dealing with your public speaking anxiety!

As Kris Kringle said to the Winter Warlock: "Put one foot in front of the other."



Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' 'cross the flo-o-or
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' out the door.

You never will get where you're goin'
If you never get up on your feet
Come on! There's a good tail wind blowin'
A fast walkin' man is hard to beat!

Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin 'cross the flo-o-or
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' out the door.

If you want to change your direction
If you're time of life is at hand
Well don't be the rule -- be the exception
A good way to start is to stand.

Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin 'cross the flo-o-or
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' out the door.

If I want to change the reflection
I see in the mirror each morn
Oh, you do?!
You mean that it's just my election
Just that!
To vote for a chance to be reborn.

You put one foot in front of the other
And soon you are walkin' 'cross the flo-o-or
You put one foot in front of the other
And soon you are walkin' out the door.

Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you are walkin 'cross the flo-o-or
Put one foot in front of the other
And soon you'll be walkin' out the door!

Happy holidays, and I look forward to helping you with all your public speaking needs in 2011!

December 22, 2010

Think less. Act more.



My latest bulletin board addition
Yesterday I came across a blog post by social media expert Mari Smith, about her use of an annual one-word theme to guide her through the year. Simpler than making resolutions, it's one word that serves as a touchstone for making decisions and achieving goals.

At the end of the article, Mari asked, "What's your word?" And instantly, the word "Action" came to me. I actually got a little choked up at that moment. Because this is one of my biggest weaknesses. I have a lot of great ideas, but I neglect to take action on them in a timely way, especially the books I'm writing. I tend to endlessly cogitate, contemplate and ruminate on things I need to be doing, but when it comes to doing them, I'm a slacker.

Almost immediately, it occurred to me that "action" wasn't a strong enough word. I needed a command: "ACT."

First thing I did after choosing this word was to open the file for one of my books and put two good hours into working on it.

This morning, after five straight days of rain, the sun broke through. I had been on a client call and figured I would miss my workout again, or at most, put in a halfhearted home workout (my house has pretty limited space for exercise). The moment I saw the sun, I raced to my workout clothes and was down at the stadium in no time.

As I finished up my sixth set of stairs, a cooldown lap and some stretching, the sprinkles started. By the time I was on the freeway headed home, it was raining again. If I hadn't taken the opportunity to ACT, I would not have a great workout under my belt right now. Hey, it's not even 2011 yet!

Then, this morning, while reading a tweet by Alyssa Gregory, I found this: an article about action days as a way to be more productive.

And while eating lunch, I came across this quote on Facebook: "Contemplation often makes life miserable. We should act more and think less. Take action and you can achieve ANYTHING."

I think I chose the right word.

How about you? Yes, I'm blatantly borrowing Mari's one-word concept. My word for 2011 is ACT. What word would you choose to apply to your life, your business, your speaking in 2011?

December 20, 2010

Six customer service tips for speakers



While reading hubby's company newsletter last week, I came across some excellent retail customer service tips, which I've adapted for speakers. Guess what: If you're a speaker, you're in customer service, too!

We each have an important message to share, but at the same time, if we don't deliver our message in a way that our audience can receive it, we will fail. And all the wonderful things we have to say will never make their destination.

Remember these tips when you're preparing to meet your customers -- your host, your organizer, your event planner, and your audience.

1. Treat the customer as the most important part of your job -- not an interruption of it.

How many times have you found yourself annoyed by a difficult, challenging, or off-topic audience question? How many times have you secretly wished that people would follow your game plan as you've envisioned it and stop interrupting with their comments that don't advance your point?

Those of us who take the stage well-prepared and well-organized can sometimes be thrown off when the audience doesn't play along as expected. Those of us who throw presentations together at the last minute will be even more flustered. Realize that each member of the audience lives in and makes her/his own reality and that your perfect little presentation may not jive with this person's perceptions and understanding.

Understand that people come from all walks of life and have all kinds of knowledge and life experience that they will bring to your presentation. Do your best to create a new world for each audience, but know that individuals will act based on their own worlds. Expect it, go with it, be ready for it.

2. Make sure your stress doesn't translate over the phone (or by e-mail or on the stage).

You may be under a lot of stress, because heck, preparing for a speaking engagement and giving a presentation can be stressful. But don't blab about it or take it out on your host, your organizer, or your audience. Because they don't care, and all you will accomplish is ruining your chances of being asked back. You're there for THEM. You serve THEM. Period.

3. Make sure to acknowledge if the customer has waited for an extended period of time and apologize for the wait.

Stuff happens. Air conditioning goes haywire. Cars break down. A/V staff forgets to set up the equipment you need. If your audience is inconvenienced by being made to wait, by being put in an uncomfortable situation, by not receiving their morning coffee... acknowledge the problem and then move on.

Don't dwell on it, don't be overly solicitous, and don't beat yourself up. Let the audience know that you care about their comfort and their time, sincerely apologize, and then get on with your planned event.

4. Don’t spread the stress -- help take on some of the burden.

You may not be the one stressed out, but you may be working with an event planner who is falling apart. Instead of feeding off the crazy, offer to help. Be the speaker everyone enjoys working with. Make yourself part of the team instead of the prima donna who waltzes in, does her thing in isolation, and then takes off without a thank you or a handshake.

5. Always suggest a different item if we don’t carry something a customer wants.

Find a way to meet your audience's needs, even if you don't have all the answers. Don't be afraid to refer your contacts to resources outside your area of expertise. I'm not a voice expert, so when people have questions about voice training or voice care that are outside my narrow scope of knowledge, I'm happy to refer them to professionals who are experts.

You can't be everything to all people, so don't drive yourself crazy trying, or feel like a failure because you can't answer every single question. Be a giver, not a hoarder. Share your information and resources freely and you will be appreciated and rewarded for your generosity.

6. Have a good time while you work.

If you're not having a good time, how can you expect your audience to have a good time? And if you think it's wrong to have a good time during a business presentation, you might need an attitude adjustment.

Think of the most memorable and successful presentations you've attended, the ones where you got the most value and impact. What engaged you? What kept your attention? What helped you learn and retain the most information? I bet it wasn't a boring speaker who droned on in a monotone with slides so densely packed you couldn't read them. Enough said.

During this holiday season, you are probably out and about even more than usual. You might be doing a lot of shopping, attending holiday parties, traveling, and dealing with more retail, restaurant and hospitality employees than usual.

Take a look at the most successful examples of good customer service and think about how you can apply them to your speaking engagements.

Share your additional customer service tips in the comments!

December 16, 2010

What's the point of speech contests?



I admit it; I get a little bent out of shape at the title "World's Best" or "World Champion" when it's thrown around willy-nilly. Maybe I have a problem with competition... I take it too seriously, for one thing. As a high school basketball player and discus thrower, I HATED losing. Or coming in second. Which I did, frequently. I also hate board games, for the same reason, although I have a much better track record at those than sports.

In the speaking world, there are two instances of "world's best" that are growing pet peeves.

First, there's the "World's Best Presentation" contest. The copy reads, "Enter your presentations and compete with the best presenters the world over." I would argue that the people who win this contest might be the best graphic designers, but how exactly is a slide show with no presenter, however well-designed and attractive, a "presentation?"

Presentation experts (me included) expend a lot of energy reminding our audiences and clients that a PowerPoint is not a presentation, but is meant to enhance the message of the speaker. A slide show on its own is not a presentation. Even an eye-catching slide show with a meaningful message (basically a well-illustrated picture book) is not a presentation.

Then there's the Toastmasters "World Champion of Public Speaking." Just to clarify, the word Toastmasters is outside the quotation marks. The winner of the competition, put on by clubs for club members, does not compete with all the top speakers in the world, only the top speakers who are members of Toastmasters.

Calling the winner of a Toastmasters contest "World Champion" is a little bit like calling the winner of the World Series (played in the United States, with American baseball teams, with mostly American players) "World Champion." When all the competitors are part of a club and the vast majority of other teams/speakers in the world are not part of the contest, how exactly does that make one the world champion?

But what is at the heart of my angst is the competition itself as a desirable training ground for presenters. Or that speakers can possibly compete with each other at all without drowning out the qualities that make each of us unique: different personalities, presentation styles, life experiences, types of expertise, target audiences, etc.

And I'm speaking as a former speech team member who competed in speech contests and occasionally won events. I know the drill. It was fun. It was kind of a game. And I learned a lot about presenting. But it was not the real world.

In the real world, we are not trying to please a panel of judges. And especially not judges who seem to reward one style of presenting, one that looks more like a dramatic acting monologue than a presentation.

Most of us are not motivational speakers, although a good part of presenting does, in fact, include motivating our audiences to take action. Most of us are not surrounded by people who are already adoring fans. And most of us are not celebrities.

I imagine that Toastmasters audiences at the World Championship level are probably judging the speakers just as meticulously as the actual judges (and surely counting all the "ums"), but when you're all members of the same club, it's a pretty insulated contest.

Most of us have jobs speaking in rooms where the boss has mandated our audience to attend, or we are tasked with delivering bad financial news, or we are speaking about a topic that the audience has no interest in, like OSHA compliance or sexual harassment.

We speak at conferences where an audience member is torn between three different breakout sessions, and might leave in the middle to catch parts of each. We speak in meetings where our colleagues are texting and reading e-mail through half the presentation, and nodding off through the other half. We are told to expect 300 audience members, and 25 show up. If we're lucky.

We also speak to audiences who are engaged, enthusiastic and supportive -- don't get me wrong. I would say that most of my audiences are like that, even the mandated ones. I appreciate the level of attention and focus my audiences give me, when much of the time they would rather be somewhere else.

But most of us don't have the luxury of choosing only to speak in this kind of environment, and we certainly don't have the luxury of taking an entire year to craft and refine one or two seven-minute speeches.

So why is it desirable to try to achieve a title that's so contrived, so far removed from the real world of public speaking?

And does being "the champion" have any real benefit or meaning outside the club?

Why isn't it enough to compete against yourself, always striving to deliver the most effective message and connect with audiences who are not trained in supportive evaluation techniques?

I ran my ideas past Rich Hopkins, my fellow presenter and speaking coach. You may also know him as a two-time finalist in the Toastmaster World Championship, finishing 3rd in 2006. If anyone has insight and answers for me, it's Rich.

Rich says:

"Well, the champions would agree with you, as would I.

There is a lot of merit in winning the World Championship out of a quarter million people worldwide, but that merit doesn't translate directly to the real world, in terms of credibility, financial success, or effective speaking in a real world setting. It's certainly a nice accolade, and something I still would like to achieve, but it is the Toastmasters World Champion, not the World Champion....

The contest teaches a lot, but in no way prepares a speaker for a 45-minute talk in front of an audience. It's essentially a mini-keynote geared to fit the criteria on the judging sheet. What it DOES do is teach contestants to put their audience first, to connect, to learn storytelling, to get to the point, etc.

Winners still have a lot of work ahead of them to make it in the professional ranks, and they all have found that out, and preach it every shot they get. As 2003 winner Jim Key often jokes 'I'm still waiting for the Brinks truck to back up in front of my house.'"

So keep in mind as you write that those who give too much credence to the title are often the ones still seeking it and the ones who will never achieve it, not the ones who have actually accomplished it."

And he also points out, "The real Toastmaster argument is more in the lack of a defining term: TOASTMASTERS World Champion of Public Speaking."

I appreciate Rich's help in formulating this post. I've been wanting to talk about it for a long time, mostly the idea that, in order to have validity as a speaker, one has to win contests. Or have a string of letters after their name. Or do anything that doesn't explicitly involve making meaningful connections with engaged audiences where ideas are shared, learning happens, and participants walk away armed for work and life.

And I am armed and ready for your comments. :-)

December 14, 2010

Create a new world with each presentation



I wrote a post asking "Who's in the audience and why should I care?" a while back, about doing research on your audience beforehand, so you can give the best value and tailor your talk to that group.

But there's a lot about your audience that you could never find out from an organizer. And yet, it still matters.

We put a lot of energy into worrying about why this guy's not smiling or why that woman is looking down at her hands. What am I doing wrong? Why isn't everyone engaged?

And sometimes it's you. Sometimes (a lot of the time), you are not engaging enough. You aren't doing enough to keep the audience's attention.

But sometimes (a lot of the time), it's not you.

Here are some of the people in your audience:

An alcoholic
A woman in an abusive relationship
Someone who is grieving
Someone who is struggling financially
Someone who is sick
Someone who has a sick family member
Someone who got fired
Someone who has a mental health disorder

Also, there is:

Someone who just had a baby
Someone who just got married
Someone who just got a promotion
Someone who just returned from vacation
Someone who's just achieved their goal weight
Someone who's wearing their favorite outfit
Someone who made a big sale
Someone who's having a good hair day

Toss them all together with these people:

Someone who is late to an appointment
Someone who's trying out a new babysitter
Someone who's nervous about a first date
Someone who forgot to pick up milk
Someone who is about to go on vacation
Someone who's wondering how he's going to afford all the Christmas presents
Someone who skipped lunch and is starving

Do you see what I'm getting at? People are in their own worlds. Things are going on in your audience's lives that are affecting them at every moment. They might be obsessed or only mildly distracted, but there are a million things going on with each person that you can't possibly know. In fact, there are a million things going on with you, too, because you're human, and you have a life.

What does this mean for your presentation?

It means that you do the best you can with the information you have.

It means that you always assume people will have mental distractions and you make your best efforts to keep them present and with you.

It means that, if some people never come around, it's not necessarily personal, and you need to keep going, keep working it, keep doing your best to reach as many audience members as you can with all your skills, knowledge, energy, passion and dedication.

You can't possibly know everything that's going on with the people in your audience. But for that ten minutes or twenty minutes or hour that you spend with them, you can put aside your own distractions and make them your entire focus. Treat them as though they are your dearest friends, as though you wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

Because a lot of them will be somewhere else, mentally, and your challenge is to bring them into this world that you've created and that you will all share for this brief time.

As a speaker, there's nothing better than knowing that you've built something unique and special in a room with a group of people who are disparate and diverse, may not know each other and may not ever be together again. It's a gratifying feeling of accomplishment and collaboration.

Are you experiencing this with your audiences? What do you need to change for this to happen?

December 10, 2010

Have you submitted your questions for my next Q&A call?



You have questions? I have answers!

My next AskLisaB Q&A call is Tuesday, December 14 at 10:00 a.m. PST, and it's FREE. But sign up now, because those who get their questions in first get their questions answered first!

This Q&A-based subscription call-in program runs once a month and will address all your public speaking questions. Subscribers will receive an audio recording of each month's call, plus any additional resources associated with that month's topics. Of course, if you're not satisfied with the calls, you can unsubscribe at any time.

The content of each month's call will be determined by questions submitted by subscribers. Questions will be answered in the order received, so sign up now to make sure yours is at the top of the list!

Visit AskLisaB.com for details and to subscribe.

Be humble



You may have a lifetime of experience as a speaker.

You may be THE expert in your field.

You may know more about your topic than just about anyone.

But still... be humble.

It might be hard to be humble when you're really good at something. You might want everyone to know how good you are. You might feel the need to be recognized for your vast talents and knowledge.

Just remember: Without the audience, there is no speaker. Without an audience, you do not exist. You need the audience as much as they need you. Never forget that.

So keep improving, keep honing your skills. Keep focusing on being the best you can be and paying attention to the audience's needs, wants and interests.

Instead of worrying about whether everyone knows how great you are, think about putting that energy into making the audience feel special, feel like you're there just for them, feel like you appreciate and care about them and are giving them your absolute best.

If you want to go far in your career or as a speaker, humility will take you farther than arrogance.

December 6, 2010

The power of presence



There's a fascinating guest post on Tim Ferriss' blog by Michael Ellsberg, about Bill Clinton's "Reality Distortion Field" (RDF) —- "an aura of charisma, confidence, and persuasion." Specifically, the article is about the power of appropriate and well-practiced eye contact, the use of personal space, and the practice of being present in developing a charismatic and influential personality.

Here's an excerpt:

"You’ve probably experienced bosses or strangers 'get up in your face,' and it feels very unpleasant. Bill Clinton and others with RDFs are experts at getting close to you while making you feel totally safe and comfortable. This increases feelings of intimacy, trust, and affinity.

How do they do it? They have mastered the subtle art of personal space. First written about in-depth by anthropologist Edward Hall, our sense of “personal space” is the feeling we get of being 'invaded' when someone steps too close.

Interestingly, our sense of personal space is not a pure function of physical proximity; many other psychological factors influence it. In general, your sense of physical proximity with someone increases when they are:

- Making direct eye contact with you
- Facing you directly (as opposed to standing side-by-side looking into the crowd)
- Touching you (i.e., rubbing elbows in a crowd, patting your back, touching your arm or shoulder)
- Raising their voice
- Talking about you (as opposed to a neutral subject)

If a stranger starts doing too many of these at once, your personal space begins to feel violated, and you start having that icky 'eww get away from me!' feeling we’ve all experienced with unwelcome conversations at parties.

In contrast, if you learn to modulate these five different factors, and combine them in different ways, you can make your conversation partners feel safe and comfortable while at the same time feeling close and intimate with you."

Get over to Tim Ferriss' blog and find out how you can make people feel like you're the only two people in the room!

December 2, 2010

Next AskLisaB Q&A call is 12/14 -- and it's FREE!



You have questions? I have answers!

My next AskLisaB Q&A call is Tuesday, December 14 at 10:00 a.m. PST, and it's FREE. But sign up now, because those who get their questions in first get their questions answered first!

This Q&A-based subscription call-in program runs once a month and will address all your public speaking questions. Subscribers will receive an audio recording of each month's call, plus any additional resources associated with that month's topics. Of course, if you're not satisfied with the calls, you can unsubscribe at any time.

The content of each month's call will be determined by questions submitted by subscribers. Questions will be answered in the order received, so sign up now to make sure yours is at the top of the list!

Visit AskLisaB.com for details and to subscribe.

7 people skills for public speaking success



I wrote a post two years ago asking, "Are you a people person?" There are certain qualities a "people person" brings to the table as a speaker, including empathy, observation, open-mindedness and other essentials.

I was reminded of this again recently while on a phone conversation with someone who I needed to connect with to use a space for an event.

This person made me feel like it was a chore to deal with me, like she was so busy and I was interrupting her. It was not a good feeling. Unbeknownst to her, her boss wants to refer her to my coaching program. I would be glad to have her!

It doesn't matter if you're on the phone, on the stage, or responding to e-mails. Whether you're in front of the audience already, or just making plans with your organizer, you must follow these guidelines:

1. Be pleasant and friendly.

2. Make it easy for others to work with you.

3. Be assertive, but flexible.

4. Be clear in your communication, whether in person, on the phone, or by e-mail (or Twitter or Facebook!).

5. Be positive.

6. Put aside judgments and preconceptions.

7. Listen -- and hear.


If you're curt, sarcastic, bored, crabby, annoyed, brusque, huffy, unmotivated, rushed, grumpy, or unfriendly, no one is going to want to work with you. And this is before you ever get on stage. Unless you're a very spoiled or famous CEO or celebrity, no one is going to take your crap.

You may not like people very much. But you better learn to work with them if you want to be a successful speaker.

Read this for suggestions on using your people skills once you're on stage.

What would you add to the list?
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